For an individual sport, there sure are some big teams in tennis. Take a glance at the player’s boxes of any match on Rod Laver Arena, MCA or Hisense and you’ll find a small army in attendance – each with a role in the success of their charge down on the court.
Gone are the days of inviting a mate to grab a complimentary ticket Today’s tennis entourages feature many if not all of: the coach, the hitting partner, the former-pro-turned-mentor, the physical trainer, the physiotherapist, the manager, the life coach, the doubles partner, a celebrity friend who happens to be in town – and, if there’s a spare seat or two, the player’s significant other and family.
Which had us thinking: are we in the wrong business? With an eye on life beyond AO 2018, our writers have dusted off their CVs before issuing a digital cold-call to the great and the good of the tennis world – present and past…
David Packman: Nick Kyrgios’s meditation coach
One could mount an argument that Nick Kyrgios needs a mindset/meditation coach to keep him grounded, but that said, he seems to be doing a much better job of it this year. Could that be down to the launch of his charity, the NK Foundation? In his own words, “For the first time, I feel like there is a reason for me to be doing what I’m doing.”
Great stuff: find your purpose and be of service to others. There’s always room for improvement though, and with NK poised to go next-level it would be a fun time to join the ride. I’ve got the credentials (it’s my gig when not writing about tennis), so sign me up.
Val Febbo: Roger Federer’s practice partner
Being part of the Federer entourage would be one of the most amazing experiences one could have. Who wouldn’t want to work with the greatest of all time? The ideal role would probably be his personal hitting partner, because there would be no better way to spend your working day than to rally with the Maestro. So Roger – if you have any openings and see this, let me know.
Alix Ramsay: Goran Ivanisevic's massage therapist
Yes, he is playing in the Legends' event; yes, this is seriously sexist (and seriously hormonal) but as a woman of a certain age who fancied him rotten when he was playing and thinks that he is still a fine, fine looking man, I’d be more than willing to give him a rub down now – if he asked. He won’t. But I can dream…
Dan Imhoff: Stan Wawrinka’s backhand coach
Plenty of free time and RDOs with this gig, which could well be the cushiest job in tennis. When dealing with arguably the finest shot in the game, there's not a lot of advice needed. Just sit back and applaud.
Alex Sharp: Andrea Petkovic’s tour guide
Judging by her social media accounts, the gregarious German loves her art and music. So I'd embrace organising a plethora of off-court activities, whilst enjoying the Tour travel lifestyle. Petko also throws in a celebratory dance after match point, so I'd help choreograph those moves between the lines. What a job!
Craig O’Shannessey: Bjorn Borg’s strategy analyst
I heard his strategy was as simple as this: "I hit the ball cross court, and every now and then, I hit it down the line." I think I could add another layer to that...maybe!
Nick McCarvel: Madison Keys' chief confidence booster
Keys already has Grand Slam champ and former world No.1 player Lindsay Davenport in her corner, but this role would be all about positivity. To me, Keys is the most talented player in the women's game, so it's all about honing what she can do and executing it in the key moments – Keys' key moments, that is.
Linda Pearce: Roger Federer’s media manager
A job once filled by a certain Mirka Vavrinec, and how easy would it be? Imagine: you sift through the myriad hopefuls clamouring for an audience with the most revered sportsman on the planet and work out which of the lucky few win the jackpot. No hard selling required, just the opportunity to make a tennis writer’s day. No need to even brief your client on how to handle potentially delicate situations, for there are so few missteps, on or off the court. The volume of requests may be the only problem. A small one, though. Count me in.